Love vs. fear

I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear

This is words of Oprah Winfrey – American TV presenter, actress and millionaire. The author and host of a popular US talk – show – The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Of course, when I’m writing about love, I don’t mean only that romantic feeling between the two people. I mean also kindness and goodness, which makes that our world still, somehow is holding up and I’m sure that will be much longer, until we all not become deprived of emotions and feelings like machines. If Love is still present, even only in one human at the world, there’s still a hope.

Daily acts of love to others, such as helping people in need, giving way to sit for older people in bus, passing (while driving car) pedestrian through the passage, selfless and kind words to a stranger – brings a smile to others face and also, ours.
They are good and needed, both for the person who adopted nice gesture of kindness, as well as, if not more, for someone, that this gesture to someone gave.

When we choose fear? When we become indifferent, excusing that by the lack of time (as if those even 2 minutes, dedicated to the other person, takes too much from our time), but much often we’re afraid of what others think (kindness doesn’t mean weakness – absence of it, is associated with poor psyche).

We walk ahead as quickly as possible to get to our destination. This goal can be deceptive happiness (which is usually a large amount of money, success in work, fame, etc.) However, the road itself is more important, even more than a final goal.
On this road we’re afraid to stop, pull over, probably fearing that we will be overtaken or hit by a car that belongs to someone else (we think that is a deadly race). When we see that someone else’s vehicle, crashed, we don’t stop, even slow down („so many people here passes, surely someone will help him soon” or „great, I will reach my goal faster than him”).
Many of us explains that our indifference.
As a result, person who needs a assistance stays in the same place for a long time. When his vehicle is repaired, eventually, after changing his damaged vehicle to another, he moves ahead faster than before, to make up for lost time, without worrying too much about other people, because he also has been previously neglected.
It shouldn’t works in that way.

Fear wins also in situations when we have the opportunity to meet someone. We are afraid to make conversation with someone in the bus, in the checkout line at the supermarket, at the office, and many other places. How many big, deep feelings, relationships fear stop to grow, and how many friendship we miss?

Neale Walsh in the book „Conversations with God” (Volume I) put it in a very accurate manner:

Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. Love is the energy which expands, opens up, send out, stays, reveals, shares, heals. Every human thought, word, or deed is based in one emotion or the other.

On the other hand, Anthony De Mello, in his book, „Awareness” wrote:

Some say that there are only two things in the world: God and Fear. Love and Fear are the only two things. There’s only one evil in the world, Fear. There’s only one good in the world. Love. It’s sometimes called by other names. It’s sometimes called happiness or freedom or peace or joy or God or whatever. But the label doesn’t really matter. And there’s not a single evil in the world that you cannot trace to fear. Not one. Ignorance and fear, ignorance caused by fear, that’s where all the evil comes from, that’s where your violence comes from. The person who is truly nonviolent, who is incapable of violence, is the person who is fearless. It’s only when you’re afraid that you become angry. Think of the last time you were angry. Go ahead. Think of the last time you were angry and search for the fear behind it.

Two thousand years ago the world was saved from destruction because love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
Every great inventor, and also many people who achieved success was guided by love. Love for the people (they want to help others) and for what they do (by loving what they do) – that is, passion.
Fear wins very often, it’s the opposite of love.

When love wins? When we are brave and therefore, free. Independent from what other people think.
Why we should be brave (although, it should be noted that courage is not doing something without fear, but in spite of it)?

Eleanore Roosevelt said also:

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face

Jeffers Susan in her book: ”Feel the fear and do it anyway” wrote:

Well,” I told myself, “just keep putting yourself out there. Eventually the fear will go away.” It never did! One day a lightbulb went on in my head as I suddenly realized the following “truth”: The fear will never go away as long as ia continue to grow

Yes. Fear will not go away. We can either act in spite of it, or allow fear to paralyze us.Greg Plitt, a fitness instructor, model and author of many motivational speeches, came to fear in the most constructive way:

 “I love fear. Reason why; behind every fear, there’s a person you wanna be. Fear is self-imposed. Meaning it doesn’t exist. You create it, you can destroy it too. It’s an intangible. If you face your fears, you’ll realize its not that big. And once you face it, you’re gonna say “my God, all these time I’ve been running from it”. You know, it’s so small.”

It is true. I repeatedly convinced that much worse is to think about a stressful situation than the situation itself.
Fear means changes. Changes mean something new. Something new can mean something good – happiness to which we all aspire.

It is impossible to avoid stressful situations in life, so it is important that we chose in the right time, love, not fear.

Thomas Carlyle wrote:

Tell a man he is brave, and you help him to become so

I know that you are brave. Love or fear is a matter of choice.

Remember, there is nothing you can’t do, so believe and be brave

Take care,
Janusz

„Life is either a great adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller

@ – januszkoch@hotmail.com
LinkedIn:

https://pl.linkedin.com/in/janusz-koch-13b2b844

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